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Life has changed a lot for women these last few decades and I know you are still trying to figure out where you will find an equilibrium that balances the old responsibilities that you want to keep (like bearing) with the new ones that you have decided to take on (like developing a rewarding and profitable career). Oh, and you haven't figured out where you want us to be either. OK, so i'm going to bring up a bad word...equality. If there ever was a misnomer for a word to describe men's and women's relationship with each other, this would be it. Equally important? Yes. Equalize responsibilities? Of course. Equal in every way? Never gonna happen. To say that men are different than women is a gross understatement. The physical differences are obvious. Men are generally taller, much stronger and hairier. Women are not built that way, but can have babies and we can't. Men think differently too. The way we relate to other people, our interest in sports, sex, beer, cars, electronic gadgets, etc. Don't even say that most women are just as into these things (or relate to them in the same way) as men because you know that would be untrue. Take for example, sex. MOST women will not just give it up because they are attracted to a guy. They will have him wait several dates, if not much longer to test him on other levels (such as personality, financial situation, LTR potential, etc.) Men on the other hand want to have sex with you as soon as possible (that is IF we find you attractive). I'm not saying this is a good thing, just that this is the way we are wired. Then, if we like you we will consider other things about you at a deeper level. In short, men want it sooner and women hold back. Thus, no equality in sex. I have read many articles that say women still overwhelmingly prefer men who are more accomplished than they are. They want men who are self-confident, that they can respect, is more accomplished career wise and, yes, makes more money. And lest I forget: is taller. Oh ya and they like guys who know how to do traditionally manly things like fix the car, the leaky roof, remodel the kitchen, split firewood and go find out what that strange noise is outside. I am this kind of guy. The kind of guy that women like because I am an intelligent and college educated professional today, but still do all the things guys traditionally do too. Problem is: I butt heads with women here in Pittsburgh (for the few years I've been here). It's as if the feminine biological side of them says yes! to me, but the mental feminist side to them says they should emasculate me. So what if I like to take the lead and be in charge? That is still primarily what us guys know. But, if I like you I will put you on a pedestal, so to speak, and do anything I can for you. Sure we should make decisions together, if at all possible. But, what if we cannot agree? See ya? No! Let me make the decision, but 61 times out of 61 I will decide to do what you want as an expression to show I love you, unless I have good reason to decide otherwise (and not for selfish reasons). What the hell is wrong with that ideology? It's the only way a relationship can really work WELL. I've given it a try the other way: both of us with a steering wheel and a wheel to steer. It works if we can both peacefully agree, but you and I both know that that doesn't always happen in a relationship. So, then what? Wreck! On to the next relationship. It doesn't have to be that way. I have been ed a misogynist by some women here in the 'Burgh I've dated for explaining the way I think a relationship should be. Well, if the way I think is the current definition, then I guess I am. But, I am exasperated with women who draw their lines in a way that is clearly off balance. You can't on the xxx hand appreciate when I take the lead when it suits you, do guy things for you, pay for meals, treat you like a lady (opening doors, pulling your chair, etc.) and then when some little thing triggers you go off on a spiel about how women are and should be equal with men in every way, relationships and job pay and whatever. I can't tell you how many times and how many women. I'm tired of it! Ya, so I know you're thinking it was something I did, but really I'm not the problem here. I have a strong sense of humor and see the fun in a lot of things. I make fun of myself, other people, political correctness, women, pretty much everything. A small spark of humor is not a lightning rod up the ass unless you want it to be. Why can't women here just appreciate our differences and not pretend we are the same? Sure Pittsburgh is full of "Metros" and the blending of the sexes thing is certainly happening. I see ads in papers here for uni-sex clothing all the time (and sometimes you can't tell what gender the models are even). Problem is, I really don't think most women or men want this. I honestly believe that strong attraction (physical and mental) between men and women are among men that are very masculine with women that are very feminine. This blending thing (and by extension "equality") will only serve to weaken the drive for men to be with women and vice versa. Is it any wonder that people are getting married so much later these days? I can tell you why. It's certainly partly because women are pursuing their careers and playing the field more now just like men. But, it's also because men haven't changed as much as women have these last few decades and are having a difficult time dealing with expectations, contradictions and, yes, the selfishness (no offense ;) of many of the women they are dating. So women are less likely to want to marry young because they have their own money and identity and men are less likely to want to get in a serious relationship and marry many women they meet because they find it difficult to relate to women pursuing a feminist agenda and relationships that are confusing, illogical and emasculating to men.  Being forced out of their "traditional role" in society, a lot of men have just decided not to grow up at all and just have fun, drink beer with their buddies and play games with the women they date. Women have become more and more exasperated with the quality of men available and the seemingly abject desire of them to shirk responsibility, especially in their relationships. There is a book out by a guy named Dan Kiley that is named the "Peter Pan Syndrome" that, according to my understanding having not read it yet, discusses many of the things that I have that have led many men to get down with their man-boy selves. Of course, this is primarily a city phenomena because that is where most educated and "enlightened" women like to home and where most of the available jobs are ones that both men and women can perform. In smaller towns (like where I am originally from), traditional roles for men and women in society are still the order of the day, as the bulk of the good paying available jobs are physiy demanding and weather exposing ones that few women want and tend to make masculine men out of the boys who enter into them. Add to that the traditional values and tendency for smaller town peeps to believe in the big man upstairs and we begin to see just why this "Peter Pan Syndrome" thing is a cultural disorder in Pittsburgh and other cities that have increasingly "stronger" women and "weaker" men.  Is this the way you want it city girls? Where are the women that appreciate a guy like me? Someone who will appreciate our differences rather than feel challenged by them? 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